Another Fun Fall Weekend

Friday night we had friends over for an impromptu pizza night!  It was incredibly relaxing for Josh and I.  I had laid Harrison down for a late afternoon nap and he didn't get up until the next morning!  So we enjoyed our adult conversations while Harrison snooooozed away and the older kiddos played in basement.  Harrison has been nicknamed Turbo and Zooooom Baby.  He is always on the go and is constantly getting into something.  So we missed his company on Friday night, but it was oh so relaxing for Mommy and Daddy :)

Saturday Carter and Daddy had hockey early in the morning and then we all headed down to Lakeville as a Fam to my Grandma and Grandpa's Farm.  It was my Grandpa's 81st Birthday!  Reese and Carter were outside exploring all the farm has to offer all afternoon and Harrison LOVED the cows.  They loved him too (I think they thought we were going to feed them).  

                               

Sweet Sweet Baby Ella
(My cousin Kelly's little girl)  She was all dressed up for Halloween with her pumpkin and tutu!

My coworker Justine has given me 5 gifts this week.  (Based off of the book The 5 Love Languages)  One of her gifts was to watch our babies on Saturday night.  (The gift of service)

She came with her goody bag with all sorts of Halloween crafts and had a blast with the kids.  Carter and Reese can't stop talking about all of the fun they had!

Josh and I had dinner with friends at The River Inn in Hanover.  MMMMMmmm always so yummy.  It was a nice date night.  We haven't really had one since my diagnosis, so it was a much needed night out!

Last but definitely not least we spent Sunday afternoon at 101 Market.

My very sweet friend Britt gave us tickets for a fun afternoon, and Jackie and Dean joined us. 

Bahahaha this makes me giggle.  My superhero kiddos.  Harrison thought this was pretty neat.  Peek a Boo!

Of course having some fun in the corn pit!

Rode with this little guy on the animal train.  Holy cow its a good thing my hips were being somewhat cooperative for me that day.  It felt like we were going 100 mph and flying over jumps!  The kiddos had fun!

Petting Zoo Fun!

Our little Fam

Thank you Grandma and Grandpa!

It's amazing what you can do in a weekend!  And it really seems amazing when you write it all down.  Three days of memory making, that's what it is all about.  The house remained a mess, the laundry piled up....but hey....we won't ever look back and say "remember when Mom and Dad did laundry that one Saturday"  hehe.  (Josh is probably reading this thinking....ummm I did do the laundry).  I know hunny and that is why I love you.  (I just refuse to do laundry here after someone told me snakes can crawl into your dryer vent!!!)  I said I will do laundry when we move, or I will just keep buying new clothes.  

Hope each of you had a wonderful weekend....whatever you did....

love the Remme Fam

Promise and Protection

"Try to stay conscious of me as you go step by step through this day.  

My Presence with you is both a promise and protection."  

My daily devotion is reminding me each and every day that God has this.  I don't know how he does it but every day I read the passage and it COMPLETELY relates to what my life entails.  

I learned this week that a sweet woman from down south (mother of 3) was just given 6-12 months to live due to cervical cancer.  I learned about her via a Matilda Jane website.  My heart sunk, I wouldn't wish this news upon anyone.  I couldn't help but message her.  I told Miss Megan that I didn't have any words for her diagnosis, but I truly knew how she was feeling.  As a Mommy your only dream is for your children and when you are told that you may not be there for them....well your little world feels as though it is crumbling down.  

This whole diagnosis thing...has definitely got me thinking....

God works in so many amazing ways.  I am here today to say thank you for giving me my babies.  Thank you for giving me this life.  I am so incredibly thankful for the amazing people you have put into my world.  

Life is so precious, we are only given one opportunity.  Why does a scary Stage 4 Cancer diagnosis make it so much more real.  Why couldn't I have realized this without a stupid Cancer diagnosis.  

Well...maybe I am meant to show the world, that being kind and living each and every day to the fullest is what it is all about.  

My stomach hurts with all of the hatred and the distrust in this world.  (aka election time on facebook).  Don't worry....I will not go into who I support or who I do not.  (Fun fact my hubby and I support completely opposite people and we still love the heck out of each other :)  

My trust is in God.  I know that he has our back.

An update:  I had another appointment on Thursday.  The tumor in my breast is 1/2 the depth!!  I hadn't felt it for a while (I was mad at it) but was so surprised to feel the difference after just a month of the hormone medication!  I received my second dose of IV Zometa (bone medication) and my shot in the belly of Zoladex.....bring on the menopause and hot flashes.   Plan is to follow-up with a PET scan the beginning of December.  

This blog post may not make a ton of sense....but I am just letting the words fly out.  I want people to know that I am positive and optimistic about the future, but I also don't want to dismiss the real feelings that I have.  (Most of the time it has to do with being a Mommy).     

Each and every day, I am reminded of how amazing everyone is.  Whether it is the "check in" text messages, the events to raise money, the caring site, the comments, cards, and gifts.  We as a family are overwhelmed with happiness and gratitude.  Holy cow you people rock.

Ok.  Time for bed.  I am sure my 14 month old will not sleep in for Mommy just because I stayed up late.  The nice thing about having stage four breast cancer and having three small children....is life really doesn't change a ton....at least for now.  And that is what I love about this.  I am just Mommy to them, that's how I would like to keep it :)  

Genetics

POSITIVE: Pathogenic Mutation Detected

Well out of this whole whirlwind....I can honestly tell you that my genetics appointments have been the most interesting and if you were to say that I am "excited" about meeting with my genetics counselor....well sure....you could say that.  I wish I didn't HAVE to meet with anyone.  Like oncologists, nurses, genetics blah blah blah.  (Meaning this Cancer thing is all a dream)  BUT....I truly was extremely intrigued during my genetics appointments.  

I will start this out with, holy cow people are amazingly smart.  I am so incredibly thankful for these individuals who have the knowledge and passion for genetics.  I am also extremely lucky and fortunate that one of my very close friends' aunt is who I met with.  She is "honorary auntie" and my smart, intelligent, cutting edge genetics counselor.  A pretty bad ass combo.  

Well most of you out there....(I don't know who is reading this so I am just generalizing) probably know about BRCA 1 and BRCA 2 gene mutations.  Miss Angelina Jolie is who made these mutations "popular" as she tested positive for the BRCA 1 gene mutation.  Her mother died of ovarian cancer and she was told with this gene mutation she had an 87% risk of breast cancer in her life time.  Angelina Jolie decided to have surgery to lower her chances of these cancers developing. 

Because my genetics counselor is amazing, she ordered multiple genetic tests as opposed to just going with the standard BRCA 1 and BRCA 2 tests.  And guess what.....I tested positive.  

My pathogenic mutation is in the PALB2 gene.

The breast cancer risk estimate for individuals with this genetic mutation is 33-58% in a lifetime depending on the presence of breast cancer family history.  And also an increased risk for ovarian and pancreatic cancer.  I am on the "lower" end of that risk ...  33% as we don't know of any breast cancer in my family.  But holy cow...33%...who would have thunk.....

Bam....that is where all of our puzzle pieces started to come together.  NO breast cancer that we know of in my family.  BUT pancreatic and ovarian are present.  (Great Uncle, Great Grandpa and Great Grandma).  

WE DO NOT know what side of the family I inherited this from, so we are taking the next step and testing my Mom.  That way we can start testing family members for this gene mutation.

I see this as a tool, a tool for family members to know about so they can be screened and watched closely.  Genetics is an incredibly amazing thing, but extremely scary all at the same time.  

As for my sweet babies....we will just wait until they are old enough to be tested (I believe this happens at age 18).  They have a 50% chance of inheriting the mutation. Screening would just happen early and more frequent for each who test positive.  Fingers crossed this mutation stopped with me :)  

From my understanding PALB2 is a "new" gene in the breast cancer world.  Hopefully this will only help in the addition of "tools" in my toolbox for keeping this C crap in remission.  

I will say, I have learned A LOT in the past month.  Things I wouldn't have ever wished to learn about myself, but I am truly thankful that I am surrounded by knowledge and expertise.  As a type A, independent, self sufficient, perfectionist I will say it has been extremely difficult to feel lost in the information.  But I am taking it all in, and trusting in my amazing team to lead the way!  

These are my reasons....

These are my reasons to fight.

These are my reasons to smile.

These are my reasons to love.

These are my reasons to continue loving life.....

I cannot even begin to tell you what these images mean to me.  Pictures have always been a huge part of my life.  They bring me so much joy.  I am so thankful for Amy with Chubby Cheeks Photography who so graciously gave my little family this opportunity.  And a huge thank you to Miss Cassie Stone for coordinating everything! Being a Mommy is the BEST (exhausting) but BEST job in the world.  I am thankful for these three little ones and I am so thankful for the most amazing husband a girl could ask for.  We will do this together (with God's strength) and we will succeed in living every day of our lives to the fullest.

Amy....you were right....these pictures were EXACTLY what I needed as a part of my healing.  Seeing these images brought such light into my day.

A Perfect Fall Weekend

What an amazing Fall Weekend.  For those of you who were able to spend some time outside...you know exactly what I am talking about!  We had a wonderful weekend together as a family.  Saturday morning we had the pleasure of working with Amy (Chubby Cheeks Photography).  An amazing woman who so generously took family photos for us.  She was just an angel and I am so incredibly thankful for all of the Amazing people God has brought into our lives.

After our photo session we headed to Dehn's Pumpkin Patch!

Carter successfully navigated us through the corn maze...the kiddos spent some time in the corn pit....and we went for a hayride around the property.  (Carter even got to drive the tractor!)

Harrison dominated the mini donuts

We had some friends over Saturday night and enjoyed a yummy lasagna dinner (Thank you Jill Brand) and hung out by the bonfire.  (Perfect out...and no bugs!)  

Sunday the kids and I ventured down to Owatonna where we went to Josh's Aunt's Farm.  She is writing a children's book and asked if she could take pictures of the kids picking pumpkins!  Reese just fell in love with the sweet little kitties....too bad Daddy is allergic.   On the way home we stopped at Grandma and Grandpa Remme's church and the kids painted pumpkins, jumped in the bouncy house and got their face painted.

I ended the weekend camping with my Maple Grove Hospital girls.  We celebrated a great coworker's  (Dana) Birthday and wished her well on her adventure to New York.  It was nice to see all of the ladies....the hugs and snuggles were exactly what this girl needed!

This weekend was a wonderful reminder of living in the moment.  I took in each breath of fresh fall air and savored every memory.  

On September 30th, my daily devotion stated:  Your future is in My hands; I release it to you day by day, moment by moment.  Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow.  I want you to live this day abundantly, seeing all there is to see, doing all there is to do.

Well if that didn't hit the nail on the head....

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend too!