It's been a while...We've been busy making memories :)

I used to be so on top of this blog.

I am going to blame it on being a Momma of 3 with some other side jobs going on as well.

Wife
Mom
Friend
Daughter
Sister
Chauffeur
Advocate
Gala Chair
Photo Taker
Hockey, Gymnastics, Dance, Baseball Momma
Birthday Party Planner
Remme Retreat GO'er

oh and Stage 4 Patient (If I could get rid of one job, believe me it would SO be this one).

Whenever I am having scheduling issues with my clinic, I always end the conversation with.... "You know I don't really have time for Cancer."  It is incredibly true, I don't have time to invest energy into something that has creeped into our lives and taken over.  Maybe that's why I haven't written in a while, it makes me think about what Cancer has done to us, and sometimes I just downright don't want to give it the benefit of the doubt.  It doesn't deserve any more time from me.

The thing I do love about our little family of five though is that we have lived each and every day for past 30 months as if it hasn't taken over.  We have smiled through pain, traveled with those we love, stayed up a little too late after a night out with friends, planned a flippin spectacular and successful gala, celebrated so many Birthdays (I didn't think I was going to see), attended MANY hockey games, dance recitals/competitions, gymnastics practice, baseball games, snuggled, hugged, danced, renewed vows, laughed, cried, and honestly just enjoyed all that life has brought us.

Life has changed a bit these past 7 weeks.  IV chemo once a week has altered our schedule, but because of our army I have been blessed with rides, company and daycare (Dawn), friends (Emily) and family (Mom) to watch Harrison.  We have meals delivered to us twice a week from some pretty amazing people.  Each day I get a card in the mail from someone who is praying for us and sending us love and support.  Every week my sweet neighbor Leah walks over and delivers my "sunshine bag" which includes items from my army that will cheer me up and I can use during my infusions.  I have a pouch in my purse with all of the gift cards sent to us, just to make life a little easier.

I sit in the chemo chair for 3 hours each Monday, we have adjusted my pre-meds (IV Steroid and IV Benadryl) so I don't feel as "jittery" and as if I am "crawling out of my skin".  For those medical friends I was originally getting 25 of IV Decadron and 50 of IV Benadryl.  I haven't experienced much nausea, just a couple food aversions and of course cravings.  Day 2 and 3 are my hardest days, I get incredibly sluggish and sleepy in the afternoons.  But I am usually feeling a ton better by the weekend.  My tumor markers have significantly decreased after a couple rounds of IV Taxol, and I literally have Zero bone pain which are all good signs.

My hair is very much gone, Josh (with his expertise) helped me even everything out with the clippers.  My eyebrows are still on point but my lashes are slowly disappearing.  To be completely honest with you, losing the hair on my head hasn't really bugged me, but my eyelashes (which were always long and thick) have made me tear up a few times.  I know, I know, they are just eyelashes and the medicine is working, but like I said earlier it's just another thing cancer has taken.

People always ask about the kiddos and Josh.  The kiddos are amazing, resilient and positive.  They like when I just wear my caps without my wig (which I think is cute) and they are so sweet when we talk about cancer and raising money for research.  Each time they receive money they have been putting it right in our "cancer research jar."  Josh has been Josh....supportive, helpful, sincere and present.  He isn't a huge fan though of my stuffy nose from taxol which in turn makes me a loud sleeper :)

I opened up the computer tonight not really knowing what to write.  Life has changed in so many ways, but in so many ways we haven't let it either.

We just know that we are on this ride with so many wonderful people.  We are truly blessed with the all of the support from everyone.  I am always blown away with the generosity and love.

A day doesn't go by that I'm not blanketed in love by my army.  I am blessed beyond words.

Maybe my next blog post will be next year and I won't have to even talk about Cancer because it has quieted down and let us just live life ... one can hope and pray that that will be the case :)   I have an amazing team who are working to make it happen :)

Lots of love everyone xoxoxo

Erin